On Friday, met Z and we had hours of chats, from starbucks to mac then to void deck. He talk to me about J and I talk to him bout S and my troubles. Talk and talk and I and teared ):
Went working on saturady and was packing the store, so dusty can?! wah lao. Cab home with S. Celine gave us cab fare. Home and we slept. As usual, we stayed at home. No museum, nothing. Well, I am not really disappointed tho, cause I expected it and didn't pin much hope. At least S make the effort to bring me for movie! Breaking dawn! :D That was the last movie...Didn't had the chance to say a good goodbye before we part....
Time out...
I was the one initiate it. Call me selfish or what-so-ever. Yes, I wanted you to wait for me while I change for the better. Cause I really don't want to see us quarreling now and then. During this period of time, I will make sure I change myself. A better attitude and a better temper before I go back to you. Will you wait for me?
Z was right. I bottled up too many things that's why I get so frustrated easily and loses my temper. But well, just on family and I have too much to cope. The change is too huge.
I realized I change a lot during these period. Last time I used to smile to everything and say it's okay. But now? Even the slightest things like asking me whether I want to watch movie I can lose my temper. How bad has it gone to? I have no idea...
Mummy is back today, I saw her and I think about S. Wanted to hug mummy and tell her everything I was under. But I've got no courage. I can't hold it and I went in room and cry...at least, I let out my emotion and not bottling up again.
So used to see your morning msg every morning...but now? I check my phone every minute...
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